Анекдоты для детей

В порядке подготовки к 1 апреля, прочитала не одну сотню шуток для детей на английском языке. Сегодня делюсь, на мой взгляд, самыми удачными.

1. Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things.
Boy: What are the two things?
Girl: Your feet.
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2. Pupil: Sir, would you punish someone for something they didn’t do?
Teacher:Of course not.
Pupil:Oh good, because I didn’t do my homework.
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3. My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith.
So I asked him: “What was the name of his other leg?”
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4. Mother: “Did you enjoy your first day at school?”
Girl: “First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow?”
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5. Headmaster: I’ve had complaints about you, Johnny, from all your teachers. What have you been doing?
Johnny: Nothing, sir.
Headmaster: Exactly.
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6. A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.
“Wow!,” said her father, “That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?”
“Wrong number,” replied the girl.
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7. Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom?
Little Johnny: But I asked first!
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8. “Excuse me. Do you know the way to the zoo?”
“No, I’m sorry I don’t.”
“Well, it’s two blocks this way, then one block to the left.”
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9. The teacher to a student: Conjugate the verb “to walk” in simple present.
The student: I walk. You walk ….
The teacher interrupts him: Quicker please.
The student: I run. You run …
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10. Father: What did you do today to help your mother?
Son: I dried the dishes
Daughter: And I helped pick up the pieces.
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11. Teacher: Look at your face I know what you had for breakfast
Pupil: What was it?
Teacher: Eggs.
Pupil: No, that was yesterday.
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12. Teacher: Did your father help you with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself.
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13. “Spell SPOT three times.”
“S P O T , S P O T , S P O T”
“What do you do when you come to a green light?”
(answer is invariably-) “Stop!”
“What, at a GREEN light?”
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14. Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an “I”.
Student: I is the….
Teacher: Stop! Never put ‘is’ after an “I”. Always put ‘am’ after an “I”.
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
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И наконец моя самая любимая шутка:
15. A family of mice were surprised by a big cat.
Father Mouse jumped and and said, “Bow-wow!” The cat ran away.
“What was that, Father?” asked Baby Mouse.
“Well, son, that’s why it’s important to learn a second language.”
(Прочитать перевод)

Как сказал Чарли Чаплин: “День прожитый без смеха – день прожитый впустую.”

“A day without laughter is a day wasted”, – Charles Chaplin.

Особенно, если это Первое апреля. Поэтому сегодня мы срочно делимся с вами замечательным видео с классными “классными” шутками для детей.

Ссылки для скачивания этого видео или аудио вы найдете ниже, а через несколько дней здесь появится текст и перевод этих шуток.

Пока не успеваем! Извините.