Funny poems for children

Funny poems

for children

Подлипаева О.Н.,

учитель английского языка

МАОУ СОШ № 24

г. Березники

Пермский край

2016

If you want to know English, it is very useful to read and write English poems.

English children like to read funny poems.

There are many books with funny school poems.

Class Dismissed (by Bruce Lansky)

We have broken all the blackboards.

So the teachers cannot write.

We have painted all the toilets

So all the lockers white.

We have torn up all the math books

And we’ve locked the school’s front door.

There won’t be no more homework

There won’t be school no more.

locker - запирающийся шкафчик; ящик .

Homework All My Great Excuses (by Kenn Nesbitt)

I started on my homework,

But my pen ran out of ink…

My hamster ate my homework

My computer’s on the blink…

I tripped and dropped my homework

In the soup my mom was cooking…

My brother flushed it down the toilet

At the moment I wasn’t looking…

My mother ran my homework

Through the washer and the dryer…

An airplane crashed into our house…

My homework caught on fire…

Some burglars were at home

I had a shark attack…

A pirate swiped my homework

And refused to give it back…

I worked on these excuses

So long that my teacher said,

“ I think it will be easier

To do the work instead.”

swipe -     красть

  Class Pest (by Kathy Marshall)

The boy who sits behind me

Is really, really mean.

He tells me I have cooties and

I smell like a sardine.

He tries to steal my pencils

And my favorite crayons, too.

I wish his parents would move away

And lock him in the zoo.

He cheats on every spelling test

And blames it all on me.

He always pulls my ponytail.

I wish he would let me be.

He talks too loud, his laugh is weird.

I wish that he were mute.

But the worstest thing about him …

I think he is kind and cute.

cootie - платяная вошь

weird - странный, непонятный;

mute-   немой

Homework, I Love You (by Kenn Nesbitt)

Homework, I love you. I think that you’re great.

It’s wonderful fun when you keep me up late.

I think you’re the best when I’m totally stressed,

Preparing and cramming all night for a test.

Homework, I love you. I tell you, it’s true.

There’s nothing more fun or exciting to do.

You’re never a chore, for it’s you I adore.

I wish that our teacher would hand you out more.

Homework, I love you. You thrill me inside.

I’m filled with emotions. I’m fit to be tied.

I cannot complain when you frazzle my brain.

Of course, that’s because I’m completely insane.

frazzle- измучить, вымотать ; insane- безумный

What I've Learned at School ( by Robert Pottle )

At school I’ve learned a lot of things

I really like to do,

Like running in the hallway

And eating gobs of glue.

I’ve learned to fight, to giggle and kiss,

And even to smoke at school.

But everything I learn to do appears

to break a rule.

What to Remember in School ( by Kenn Nesbitt )

Forget that two times four is eight. Forget the name of every state. Forget the answers on the test. Forget which way is east or west.

Forget the myths of ancient Rome. Forget to bring your books from home. Forget the words you learned to spell. Forget to hear the recess bell.

Forget your homeroom teacher’s name. Forget the after-school game. Forget which team’s supposed to win. Forget to turn your homework in.

Forget the distance to the moon. Forget how many days in June. Forget the capital of France. But don’t forget to wear your pants!

Insomnia (by Kathy Kenny-Marshall)

I cannot get to sleep tonight. I toss and turn and flop. I try to count some fluffy sheep While over a fence they hop.

I try to think of pleasant dreams,

Of places really cool.

I don’t know why I cannot sleep.

I slept just fine at school

Children’s limericks

Использованные ресурсы:

• http://www.gigglepoetry.com/ - картинки и стихи
• https://yandex.ru/images/search?img_url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dltk-kids.com%2Fcrafts%2Fmiscellaneous%2Fimage%2Fs%2Fs-toothfellout.gif&text=Childrens%20poems%20%20image&noreask=1&pos=25&lr=50&rpt=simage
• https ://yandex.ru/images/search?img_url=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn01.pelfusion.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2014%2F01%2Fshort-limerick-poems-for-kids1.jpg&text=Limerick%20picture&noreask=1&pos=23&lr=20237&rpt=simage
• https://yandex.ru/images/search?img_url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.castel-regius.com%2Fcss%2Flimerick-poems-for-mothers-day-i3.JPEG&text=Limerick%20picture&noreask=1&pos=27&lr=20237&rpt=simage
• https://yandex.ru/images/search?img_url=http%3A%2F%2Flofasofa.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F07%2Fedward_lears_old_man_with_a_beard_illustration_and_limerick.jpg&p=1&text=Limerick%20picture&noreask=1&pos=54&rpt=simage&lr=20237